We often think that we can’t be the bad person in our lives, and we may even blame others in order to not feel guilty because it’s the easiest way to go. So what do you think of yourself? Do you know yourself enough to say that you’re not a bad person?
I’ve been thinking lately about this thought so much, and I was afraid that I could be a bad person for real. The past few months I lost beautiful relationships with friends who meant a lot to me, it affected me, it made me also very angry at them. I even blamed them because it was the easy way to go that time, but after a while, I started thinking about it, who’s fault was really? Was it my fault? Did I do something wrong?
After this period, I needed to have a sit alone and think about what happened without being dishonest, so I tried, but because I was confused and afraid that I may not be the picture I draw for myself in my imagination, I couldn’t think properly, the idea of being a bad person and losing people in my life almost drove me crazy, we often say that we’re all villain in another person’s story, but what if it turned to be the truth, what if you and I are really bad people but we didn’t know. Did you ever think about that? Did you ask yourself this question, or were you too afraid to think about it like me?
You know dad always says that you can know when someone is lying to you, but you’ll never find out when you lie to yourself, but I wouldn’t say you’ll never know but you’ll have a hard time to discover that, be honest and truthful with yourself enough to answer right and don’t lie to yourself because it’s better to find out for yourself rather than hear it from people, right.
But wait a minute, we don’t do this for people. Remember, it’s for ourselves, everyone has the right to know that, everyone deserves to know who is he to accept and improve himself and love it too. It’s a journey, and this is a big part of it.
I see that everything is connected, and I believe that self-love is unreachable without many factors as honesty, self-acceptance, self-esteem, etc. So how do you think you’ll have that self-esteem if you are not honest with yourself? How would you love yourself if you can’t accept or respect yourself? It seems connected to you also, right?
Returning to my story, I was afraid, desperate so I needed help from someone who recognizes me better, and who’s going to know me better than my best friend? So I asked about her opinion, and she gave me a beautiful answer, so Sarah told me that making mistakes doesn’t make us bad people actually but not apologize when we know that we made a mistake, and to stay stubborn when we see that it’s our fault, is what make us bad people, she said we’re born to make mistakes, and unfortunately, we learn from our mistakes, it’s a bit surprising that we don’t learn from success as much as we learn from our failure, and from our good as much as we learn from our wrongdoing. So after knowing that we’re not bad people instead, we’re so good because we think this way, and let me tell you something reading this blog actually show me how good you are and how much you care about people around you as much as you care about yourself, so don’t worry you’re doing absolutely right.
Now, how we can love ourselves in the right way and how do we make sure that we didn’t do something wrong to ourselves or to others, how do we make sure we didn’t have any unhealed issues,…etc. For that, we will have four steps to reach real true self-love, and saying “real” is because loving yourself in the wrong way can make you harm yourself and people around you because of your accumulations and you don’t want that, so:
1.Discover ourselves: To know who we are for real, not who we want to be, but to reach the best version of who we dream about, we need to accept who we are, and we can do that by:
a.Asking ourselves and people who love us about us.
b.Observing ourselves by seeing how we treat ourselves and how we treat people around us.
c. Write down all the things you love about yourself and hate.
d.Write about people who harmed you in some way, and what was your reaction to it, try to find out why they did that, and by doing that you’ll know who loves and cares about you and who’s not, they can be your friends, family members even your parents, (and they are the most ones who hurt us sometimes without even noticing that, so if did you ever felt bad because of them try to tell them what’s your feelings, what do you think about their action because trust me guys those are the most unhealed issues in the whole world). And you are going to divide these people into two groups because there are just two kinds of people, those who do something that hurts you unintentionally which doesn’t mean to hurt you, and who do it to hurt you intentionally.
e.Write about people you hurt in somehow, and think about it. Did you apologize? Why didn’t you apologize? What happened? Do you love them, and why did you do that to them? Did you mean to hurt them or not? And make sure to think right and not misjudge people or wrong them.
f.Write about your experiences both bad and good. Write your feelings about it, what’s the most impactful experiences you think you had, your unhealed traumas, people you lost.
g.Write about your dreams, goals, values, principles you believe in, things you love and hate your feelings on everything, people you love the most, even people you don’t like, you need to write about everything, because it all matters.
It’s hard to answer all that, I know that but as I said before we deserve to be happy and love ourselves more right, besides you have all the time to discover yourself little by little. So do it for yourself.
And after answering all those questions about you, you’re going to the next step, which is Self-acceptance.
And this is what we gonna talk about in the next blog, so wait for it.
I hope you liked my blog and I would love to hear your thoughts about this topic.
All my love to you guys, thank you.